Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Reality is what we say it is, Pt. 2

Old Olympic jokes made fun of the "East German judge," who was such a creature of that nation's dictatorship that he or she would automatically give lower scores to anyone who didn't have to defect to travel to another country. But more serious concerns were raised from time to time about how East Germany, as well as several other nations, prepared their athletes for international competitions, including the Olympics.

Massive steroid injections, other performance-enhancing drugs, cruel and inhumane training conditions -- it's a story of where modern professional sports would probably end up if all this stuff was legal and lacked even the tissue-thin safeguards they have now. One East German shotputter was eventually knocked so out of whack by the steroids she was given she had a sex-change operation to give her the plumbing her wrecked body chemistry told her she needed. No few East German sports officials did time for their illegal activities.

For whatever reason, the rulers of these countries felt that dominating such competitions would prove their nation and their system's innate superiority. Which makes perfect sense. If you're a third-world peasant wondering which form of government would be best for your people -- a question that probably consumes all five of the minutes you don't spend figuring out how to survive until sundown -- naturally you would be swayed by which country rocked the synchronized dive or hammer throw the most.

Which brings me to the Chinese women's gymnastics team. Please don't misunderstand. I've interviewed a young lady who was, at that time, on the cusp of elite-level gymnastics. I've a friend who competed for the University of Oklahoma's women's team. I know how hard gymnasts work and I salute their dedication, and none of what I'm talking about here should be seen as taking away from their efforts. But I just don't get why their work is given such monumental importance on an international scene. Gymnastics is a sport, and people who enjoy sports like watching it. Beyond that, though, I can't figure out the big deal.

Anyway, on the one hand, in a sport where a 20-year-old is seen as a senior-type figure, the use of the word "women" seems a little loose. But the international federation that governs this sport set the minimum age limit at 16 in an effort to keep even younger children from the stress of competing at that level. Which seems to have meant nothing much to the Chinese gymnastics officials. After all, there's the glory of the gold medals and all the national pride and patriotism and proving their collection of 85-pounders can beat everyone else's collection of 85-pounders when it comes to spinning around on a bar (Want to really prove something? Train me to do stuff like that. If I made it all the way around once on an uneven bar with loss of neither limb nor life, that would demonstrate some national superiority).

Ah, wait, though. There is documentation that proves these girls would qualify for actual driver's licenses in the US and not just learner's permits. Of course there is. There's always documentation. Just like I imagine there's documentation that the demonstrators in Tiananmen Square were fascists who wanted to kill Chinese children, or that all those monks in Tibet are smuggling US-built Hellfire missiles under their robes, which is why they need to be imprisoned and beaten to pulp.

After all, we've seen how scrupulous the Chinese government is regarding accuracy in even the smallest detail, no matter how bad it makes their country's dentists look. Or how they felt confident enough in their nine-hundred-plus years of dealing with fireworks to show the Opening Ceremonies as is, no enhancement necessary. So there's no reason at all to doubt documentation that, as of this very year, proves their women gymnasts are of age to compete, no matter what those documents said last year, and in 2006, and in 2005. No reason at all.

Except common sense.

No comments: