Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I Can Haz Leviathan?

A paleontologist has announced the discovery of what is being called "the most dangerous creature ever to patrol the earth's oceans," a 50-foot-long ancient swimming dinosaur with a bite pressure of 33,000 pounds per square inch (the modern crocodile, by comparison, can barely gum you at 2,000 pounds PSI). Showing a keen eye for marketing, the scientists have dubbed the ancient animal, which had jaws some ten feet long, "Predator X."

This critter obviously was bad news for whatever happened to be swimming near it when it was hungry (and my guess is it was hungry about 99 percent of the time), but I am not certain about that "most dangerous creature ever to patrol the earth's oceans" tag. The scientists have apparently forgotten that each year, thousands upon thousands of little wrigglers are taken to the ocean by their parents and then released to play, frolic and function as they wish, creating that multi-celled organism that lurks in the water which almost no one ever escapes: The Warm Spot.

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