Generalized Motors

The last time I regularly drove a GM product was about 20 years ago, when I still had the family's old 1968 Impala as it was breathing its last. Paint the above vehicle flat black to cover up the re-primered rust spots and the fenders that came from a different car, take out the back seat to let the water that leaked in from the trunk run out the hole drilled in the floor and you will have some faint conception of the awesomeness that was La Bomba (™ Donnie Mooreland).

I know bupkis about cars, but I replaced the battery, starter, starter solenoid, spark plug wires and plugs and about three or four other things in that Impala after watching Dad do it once and with some help from Mr. Chilton. Heck, my Mom could change the air filter in it, and she swore the car didn't like her.

I technically didn't own it, since the title was still in Dad's name. So you could say that I've never owned a GM car.

Now I own all of them. And I'm betting neither I nor my plethora of elected representatives who bought them in my name (or at least with my money) will be able to fix them.