Let's Think This Through...

It takes a lot of work -- and by lot, I mean at least the sum total of all energy produced by all human beings since we started using tools -- to make Tom Coburn sound like the smartest senator from Oklahoma.

Fortunately, his fellow senator Jim Inhofe is not afraid of hard work. Earlier this week, Oklahoma's senior senator said that the tinfoil hat brigade that questions whether or not President Barack Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen "has a point." He allowed as how he hasn't worked on this issue himself (small favors, thanks, etc.), but he would not discourage their efforts. Sen. Inhofe later clarified his comment and said that the groups who keep bringing this up have a point in that if the president is not a natural-born citizen, then he is not qualified to be president according to Article II of the U.S. Constitution. The White House, he said, has not done a very good job of "dispelling the concerns" of those people raising the issue.

The White House has also not paid great attention to our citizens who believe the moon landing was faked. Nor have they put much effort into allaying the fears of those who believe the Earth is flat, even though if they're right, almost all the laws of physics and 95 percent of modern cosmology go out the window (and over the edge of the world, if you throw them hard enough).

My beliefs regarding President Obama's inadequate qualifications for his office have to do with his inexperience, bad policy ideas and ever-more-apparent ineffectiveness as a leader. A copy of a live birth record was made available online during the campaign and that settles it as much as it needs to for me. Similar issues were raised regarding Sen. John McCain during the campaign, as his birth in the Panama Canal Zone may have meant he was technically ineligible to be president. That point was raised by a professor at the University of Arizona, which McCain represents, so I imagine the law school in Wildcat Land is going to have some trouble getting grants approved for awhile.

In the end, it wouldn't matter if Pres. Obama asked each of these folks (sending the invite via the secret transmitters the government had their dentists embed in their fillings) into his office, displayed the actual copy of his birth certificate and held a seance to communicate with the spirits of his mother and father so they could say, "Yes, he was born in Hawaii. Now shut up and go bother the Air Force about Roswell."

These folks, like the people who believe the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were somehow staged by our own government, or that Sarah Palin's son Trigg is actually her grandson and she covered up the pregnancy of one of her daughters, can't be satisfied. They're delusional. Accurate information corrects my inaccurate ideas, or at least it should. But my delusions say accuracy is futile and it will be assimilated, until what's supposed to prove me wrong becomes another layer in the conspiracy and charade that proves me right.

And as the post title says, let's think this through. If these people are right for the once-in-a-lifetime occurrence the stopped-clock lottery says everybody gets, then Pres. Obama has to step down. According to Article II and the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, the person who would take over as President is the Vice-President, and that person currently is Joe Biden.

"President Biden." That ought to scare anybody, so I think it's time we sent some of those black helicopters in after the birth certificate conspiracy people before this goes any further.