The World Series

Reasons to root for the Phillies:

1. They're from Philadelphia, a town that doesn't get a whole lot of sports love. They're no disaster area like Chicago, but they've tried really hard.

2. They beat the Dodgers and should be rewarded. The Brooklyn Dodgers' move to Los Angeles in 1958 was one of the major pushes in our nation's unfortunate decision to pay attention to California and other portions of the Pacific coast. It's probably too late to stop it, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy its setbacks when they come.

3. They're playing the Yankees. The only opponent the Yankees could schedule that would induce one to root for them would be Hamas.

ETA:

4. They won last year, and parity is boring.

Reasons to root for the Yankees:

1. You're a minion of Satan, doing your dark lord's bidding.