To: The gentleman who used an elliptical machine near me at my gym
WHEREAS, during the course of your exercise you respired with great energy, especially in your exhalations, for approximately one hour, and
WHEREAS, these exhalations were audible at some distance and you did indeed sound like a choo-choo train, and
WHEREAS, these audible exhalations did conclude with the lip-flapping sound known by some as a "Bronx cheer" or "blowing a raspberry," and
WHEREAS, these raspberries did also include considerable precipitation on the readout panel and other surfaces of the elliptical machine, and
WHEREAS, your post-workout wipedown of this now-irrigated machine was conducted with the same towel which you had used to remove perspiration from your brow, unaugmented by spray disinfectant or cleaning agent of any kind,
BE IT RESOLVED, on this fourth day of February of the Year of our Lord 2010, that I shall offer you my thanks for making my choice of which elliptical machine to use following my bike ride much, much easier to make.
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