WHEREAS, on your show which aired Wednesday, August 11, on the television at my gym, you explored a variety of nagging ailments, and
WHEREAS, said ailments included the blisters women often develop on their feet from ill-fitting shoes and chafing sandal straps, and
WHEREAS, this exploration involved a number of close-up pictures of these blisters, and
WHEREAS, it also included a simulated blister the size of a pre-schooler, and
WHEREAS, this simulation was used to demonstrated the proper method for popping a blister and included realistic fluid drainage when pierced with a needle, and
WHEREAS, an audience volunteer who had not properly drained a blister on her foot was called to the front and an extreme closeup shot was taken of her foot,
BE IT NOW RESOLVED, on this day, the twelfth of August, the year two thousand and ten, you are to be thanked by helping me meet my weight-loss goal for the week by making it impossible to keep any food down.