Red Scare Defeated!

Facebook Share Button Code Yes, the forces of the free world, represented by the help-your-grandma-across-the-street upstanding young men of Northwestern University, triumphed once again over the diabolical-but-hapless minions of the red menace, represented by the Redbirds of Illinois State University.

After foolishly angering the valiant legions of purple with their presumptuous scoring of a field goal in response to NU's initial touchdown, ISU remembered their station in the grand scheme of things and went quietly for the remainder of the game. As merciful as they were dominant, the Wildcats limited themselves to a field goal in the second half so as to only moderately crush the Redbirds instead of completely destroying their spirits.

Next week, those paragons of all that is decent about our great nation travel to Houston, that they may steam some Rice.