To Divine the Divine

The other day I got a letter from Jesus.

No, really, it said so right on the envelope. It had my church's name as the addressee, but the return address said "Jesus the Christ." The Lord uses purple ink, by the way. Fortunately, He used the proper postage, because He did not include a return address. Although the postal workers here in town strike me as godly people, I am not certain that everyone in their agency would be able to get the letter back to the Lord had He been short a stamp or two.

Inside was a warning against...well, I'm not entirely sure. The Lord seems to be cautioning me against observing the "modern holidays of men," and I have no problem with skipping the next one on Hallmark's plate as I am without reason or companion with which to celebrate it. But the Lord also says that if I teach the doctrine of hell and eternal torment, I "shall not by any means be gathered." I will instead be subject to punishment on the Day of the Lord.

I'll have to say I didn't know exactly what judgment and punishment I am to face, since apparently the idea of hell and eternal torment is out. I cheated a little and checked the website referenced in the letter, and found out that if I am one of the wicked, my ultimate fate is to be "cast into the lake of fire, to be utterly destroyed and no longer exist." This is ironically close to my own belief but not something I preach regularly. I've yet to run out of things to preach about Heaven and Heaven's Lord, so I leave hell on the back -- um -- burner, so to speak.

Anyway, it was nice of the Lord to be thinking of me. I must remember to thank Him sometime. Today is probably good. Tomorrow too, for that matter.