That Trick Never Works

So, didja know the United States Department of Agriculture spends time, energy and money worrying about magicians' rabbits?

For real -- stage magicians need to have licenses to use rabbits in their acts. Usually, of course, these rabbits are pulled from hats despite not having been there when the empty hat is shown to the audience. And, apparently, the magicians have to have hand-washing stations available if they or the audience members are going to handle the rabbits, and the rabbits have to have as much time off-stage relaxing as they do on stage being subject to magical dematerialization and transfer across space-time without actually occupying it.

The story at the link offers several anecdotes of bullying USDA inspectors demanding to see licenses for the use of the rabbits (and apparently, only for using them in performances according to one tale -- killing them to feed to snakes requires no license, which is proof that Congress is cruelly deaf to Lepine-American concerns).

This is, frankly, surreal. A government department spends my money (and yours, too) to make sure stage magicians have licenses for their rabbits. A nationwide food industry that is rife with safety violations, illegal workers, substandard practices, etc., and the agency charged with checking into those matters is, instead, putting the arm on Mandrake the Magician -- "Lemme see your hands, Presto-Boy, and you'd better have nothing up your sleeves!"

Sometimes you get the idea that an inefficient government would be a step up.

(P. S. -- the most evil pun over this issue comes from a Canadian blogger here, suggesting that the USDA create a specially-trained cadre of magician's rabbit inspectors, called the "Warren Commission.")