Beware the Wolverine

With apologies to Lewis Carroll:

'Twas brillig, and the blue and gold
Did gyre and gimble on Ryan Field;
All mimsy were the purple droves,
To Michigan they'd ne'er kneel.

"Beware the Hemingway, my son!
The legs that run, the hands that catch!
Beware the Roundtree bird, and shun
Denard the Quarterback!"

Persa took vorpal ball in hand:
Long time the open man he sought--
Saw he the Hawthorne INT,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
A two-digit lead, once again,
Proved not enough, for it would,
vanish by end of game.

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal ball went snicker-snack!
An offense dead, they hung their heads
And could not answer back.

"And hast thou faced the Wolverine?
Few triumph when they do!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
Michigan's joyous words did ensue.

'Twas brillig, and the blue and gold
Did gyre and gimble on Ryan Field;
All mimsy were the purple droves,
To Michigan still they'd ne'er kneel.