Somebody Stop Me!

Let me introduce you to "Democratic advisor and former Clinton aide" Christopher Lehane, who is an early front runner in the race to say the Stupidest Thing of the 2012 Presidential Election. Lehane makes a connection between "Bain," as in the Bain Capital investment company formerly run by GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and Bane, the supervillain faced by Batman in this weekend's The Dark Knight Rises.

Lehane's money quote:

"Whether it is spelled Bain and being put out by the Obama campaign or Bane and being out by Hollywood, the narratives are similar: a highly intelligent villain with offshore interests and a past both are seeking to cover up who had a powerful father and is set on pillaging society,"

Now, you can believe what you want to believe about what Bain Capital did or didn't do -- there's been a lot of reporting, with a significant portion of it poorly sourced, going both ways. The respective campaigns have been spinning nearly every one, making certain as few people as possible know whether or not this issue has any merit or relevance to the campaign. The same thing happened with the respective Vietnam-era military service of Democratic candidate John Kerry and Republican incumbent George W. Bush during the 2004 campaign -- charges and counter-charges made it pretty tough to know much about the circumstances of either man's record and even tougher to know why voters should care about it 35 years later.

But "Bain equals Bane?" Really? Let's skip the fact that moviemaker Christopher Nolan started thinking about using Bane the villain sometime around 2008 or 2009, a little bit before President Obama's campaign decided to make Romney's time with Bain an issue or even before Romney was a front runner for the nomination or even before the primary elections or even before Romney filed as a candidate. And let's skip the fact that Bane was introduced in the comics by Chuck Dixon, Graham Nolan (no relation to Christopher) and Doug Moench in 1993, before Romney had ever run for elective office.

Let's skip all of that, because here we've got a Democratic advisor -- someone who would like to have Democratic political candidates and strategists take his advice, preferably paying him for it -- suggesting the moviemaker's story and Romney's have "similar narratives" and figuring that similarity should be considered by voters when selecting their preferred presidential candidate.

I'd thought that disillusionment with the economy, partisan gridlock, the absence of Sarah Palin and the fact that the president now has a record to run on (or against, depending on your preferences) might make the 2012 campaign a little less media superstar driven and a little more grown up. Mr. Lehane wants me to be wrong.

But he should have read his source material more closely. In the 1993 comic book series in which Bane debuted, he defeats Bruce Wayne and renders him a paraplegic. It's Jean-Paul Valley, the replacement Batman, who defeats Bane before the mental conditioning that makes him the master assassin Azrael takes over and renders him unfit for the cowl, prompting a recovered Wayne to resume it. I don't know how Mr. Lehane would like to spin that, but any way you draw the connections leads way too close to the words "President Biden" for me.

ETA: "Conservative commentator" Jed Babbin throws his hat in the ring for Stupidest Things by agreeing with Lehane from the other side, as you read further along in the story.