Woof Is the Word

Anyone with a dog knows that even the most mentally ill-adept canine can get the meaning of certain sounds. The opening of the pantry door means getting fed, for example, which is the greatest thing in the universe because it has not happened all day and the possibility of starvation unto death was all too real, so the proper ritual dance of thanksgiving must be performed despite the previous admonition to Not Jump Up Stay Down!

Smarter or well-trained dogs recognize certain sounds as directions for what they are supposed to do. Usually those are words, but they can also be whistles or claps or other kinds of sounds. I once interviewed a man who trained border collies who said that many of them are trained to respond to whistle commands. The greater distances at which they work from their humans means the humans would have to yell to get the message across and the dogs understand yelling as anger which confuses them. Police dogs trained in Germany "speak" German, for example, which means their handlers have to learn the German commands because those are the sounds the dogs recognize.

This post at Big Think interviews some linguists and animal behaviorists to see if dogs "speak human." The answer seems to be "Maybe sorta," which is the answer to most questions in life that don't involve math.

Border collies make an appearance in the article as well, as examples of dogs that have used human-like processes to learn quite a few words. One, Chaser, learned so many words the human training her lost track of what she knew and had to write the names on the objects so he knew what to call them. Chaser had no comment, apparently, about whether or not she now cheats by reading the labels. Her owner said she still bugs him to do vocabulary drills and unless he goes to bed she will continue to do so.

Scientists point out that learning to connect sounds with words and actions is only part of language. Chaser, for example, might know what a stuffed animal is or a squeaky penguin or a Mr. Potato-head. But she does not know the abstract concept of "toy" as a category of objects that are played with. Saying "Fetch Mr. Potato-head" is a doable task, but telling her to "Fetch the toy" would confuse her, even if Mr. Potato-head were in a group of objects that weren't toys.

Cats, of course, would tell you to fetch your own dadgum toy if you wanted it and to leave them alone so they could nap, unless you planned on scratching that place between their eyes that they can't reach themselves. Do that, and they might allow you to live until dinnertime.