Invasion Imminent?

HELIUM (News Service of Greater Helium) -- Members of the Jeddak's Astronomical Institute reported touchdown today of a one-ton robotic probe from Jasoom, our neighbor next nearest the sun. The device landed some 30 karads north of Helium, along the Polodona.

Although neither Greater Helium Jeddak Tardos Mors nor Lesser Helium Jed Mors Kajak could be reached for comment, both had earlier encouraged citizens against panicky responses. They pointed out that this is the fourth automated probe from Jasoom in the last eight Barsoomian years (15 years in the abbreviated calendar in use on Jasoom), none of which have been followed by any manned vehicles and all of which have been content to wander around the Barsoomian surface and take pictures of rocks.

Tars Tarkas, Jeddak of Thark, the green nation nearest the landing site, released the following statement: "We hold these automated probes the equivalent of an exchange of metal, and thus unless proven otherwise we will consider the Jasoomians neutral and peaceful. Should this presumption be in error, the blades of the warriors of Thark will drink deep from the hearts of the warriors of Jasoom. I, Tars Tarkas, have spoken."