Bedtime Smarts

-- OK, nobody tell my parents that they were right to make me go to bed early and at the same time every night. They already have enough fun chortling over all of ways adult me learned that stuff kid me knew was right is actually totally wrong.

-- A holiday weekend in our little lake-area community provides a number of opportunities for people-watching and enough data to formulate some general principles. Among them: Ladies, if the third digit of your birth year is "7" or less, then the words "tube top" should not be in your vocabulary, nor should the garment be in your wardrobe. Gentlemen, the young ladies eyeing your middle-aged paunchy self are in fact eyeing the adult beverages which you can purchase but they can not, and determining if you are indeed too creepy to make it worth their while to negotiate your purchase of said beverages as their surrogates. Chances are good that you are.

-- The atomic weights of some elements are going to be changed. Rather than being a precise number, they are going to instead be listed as "intervals," because the atomic weights of those elements vary depending on where they are found. The fashion modeling industry is reportedly very interested.

-- At a local restaurant today, there was a large black Humvee with U.S. government plates in the parking lot. Probably shouldn't have sent that e-mail offering the aliens the codes to all of our defenses, with or without the "j/k" in the subject line.