Mere Alcohol Doesn't Thrill Them at All

So some scientists studying ultracold neutrons have been having a problem with their subjects not staying where they need to be in order to be properly studied, as detailed in the Physicsworld article, "Do ultracold neutrons get a kick from nanoparticles?" My headline implies they get no kick from champagne.

Physicists will cool the neutrons down to bare minimums above absolute zero in order to slow them down enough to study. Generally neutrons are moving much too fast to be looked at carefully; even so-called "thermal neutrons" are moving at about half the speed of sound. But thus cooled, a fast jogger could outrun one. Neutrons also tend to zip right through things, since they are incredibly small and most things are made up of much more space than thing. But again, the ultracold neutrons (UCNs) are more likely to bounce off other atoms and thus stay inside their containers -- usually made of copper or stainless steel and called bottles.

Except that some of the UCNs are not staying put. And since neutrons experience all of the basic forces of nature (strong nuclear force, weak nuclear force, electromagnetism, gravity and chocolate) the ones that don't stay put mess up physicists' experiments to learn more about them and test theories about those forces. One of which in that list I may have made up.

Scientists wondered why the UCN's "leaked" out of their container, and the physicists in the story suggest that they may get an energy kick when they collide with a vibrating nanoparticle, and that energy kick boosts the UCN's energy level enough that it can in fact zip out of its bottle. Other physicists think other explanations more likely, pointing out that since the bottles are cleaned between experiments, the presence of free-floating nanoparticles is unlikely. This, of course, would depend on how good scientists are at washing dishes, and we will have to leave that determination up to their respective spouses.