Friday, December 6, 2013

They Stole What?

Some thieves in Ireland have shown themselves to be downright mean as well as stupid, all in the same act.

The mean part comes in the theft of a field full of ripening Brussels sprouts, being cultivated by Irish nuns for sale at nearby farmer's markets and organic grocery stores. Brussels sprouts are not annual crops. They take two years from planting to be mature, so the theft robs the nuns and their helpers of two full years of their work and sets them that far back in producing revenue for their farm.

The petty thieves -- a description of character of those who would steal from nuns, not of the amount stolen -- will probably, a spokes-sister says, sell them to organic food markets themselves for Christmas and make a profit on work done by others. Previous thefts have been smaller amounts probably meant for personal consumption, she said, meaning they were not unexpected or harmful to the farm's bottom line.

The stupid part comes in when you realize that the thieves stole Brussels sprouts -- a form of vegetable second in yuckiness only to those being used in a compost pile. They must have planned their escape route to have been devoid of stop signs, as it is doubtful anyone dumb enough to steal Brussels sprouts would know enough that they could start up again once they'd stopped.

(PS -- yes, I know the story says "Brussel sprouts." But the official name is taken from the capital of Belgium, which is "Brussels." Why am I so familiar with a vegetable which I hate? Know thine enemy!)

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