Saturday, March 14, 2015

The End Is Near!

Sometime in the next couple of months, the Large Hadron Collider will start up again and we will once again be at risk of mad scientists who might create a black hole that would swallow the universe.

The last time that happened, of course, a tall, curly-headed man wearing a very long scarf and riding in a flying 1960s-era London police call box intervened and reset the entire universe. He then ran it forward through time at an immense rate of speed until reaching the present day. The less intelligent folks, of course, were kept in the dark about the whole thing, but the fact that you are reading my blog means you were definitely smart enough to be in on the secret.

Since then, the LHC has been getting upgrades and safety features to prevent a repeat of the previous -- ahem -- situation. But I am still uncertain if it is a good idea to restart the thing, even if it may help us understand such esoteric concepts as supersymmetry. Although the current version of the gentleman who helped us previously seems fairly serious-minded, some of the ones in between have been mopey fellows who spent most of their time mooning after the local lasses.

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