Friday, July 24, 2015

Tread Softly Dere

Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner -- currently the second governor of the state in a row not to be indicted for a crime -- recently signed into a law a measure that requires state agencies to cross-check benefit payments with death registries. If a person is found to be dead, they will not receive a check. If they are the head of a household and have a family dependent on the income, then the family will continue to receive the dead person's assistance until they begin to receive it on their own.

From 2013-2014, Illinois paid out about $15 million to people who had been dead for more than 60 days. The classic Monty Python sketch about a dead parrot does not include the pet shop owner claiming that since the parrot received a state benefit check it had to still be alive, but now it could.

Da Honrable Richard J. Daley, Mare a da Great City a Chicago and All Its Great Peoples per omnia saecula saeculorum (dat means "for ever" in da Latin), when reached for comment, said he did not oppose this measure, although he advised caution.

"Well, on da udder side nobody needs a welfare check, so I don't see a prablum right now. But if dey try ta take away our votes, den dere could be a prablum."

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