Well, we've been found out. We couldn't fool Hassan Firuzabadi, senior military advisor to Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who discovered that the United States had been using lizards to spy on Iran's nuclear program.
I guess what's most embarassing to the world's premier superpower is that the Iranians actually thwarted our lizards, somehow blocking their natural ability to attract atomic waves and thus deduce the location of secret Iranian nuclear research sites. I don't know about you, but I think every one of those lizards deserves to lose his or her pension. On the other hand, Mr. Firuzabadi's remarks prove that you need not be the congresswoman from Texas' 18th Congressional District to be a really dumb government official.
I heard someone on a podcast say that the proper response from us is for CIA Director Mike Pompeo is to call a news conference and say, "We have been accused of using lizards to spy on Iran."
Pause.
"We are."
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