Q: Mr. Movie Person, what did you see this week?
A: Mr. Movie Person saw Wanted, a new action thriller with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. It's based on the 2004 Top Cow comic book series by Mark Millar.
Q: What did you think?
A: Mr. Movie Person thought it was OK. It's the story of how a young schlub (James McAvoy) learns of his connection to a guild of super-assassins called the Fraternity (Yes, Mr. Movie Person knows that technically Ms. Jolie is a soror rather than a frater, but he didn't write the movie). He is recruited by Ms. Jolie and taught by several of the guild, including its Obi-Wan figure, played by Mr. Freeman.
The fight, chase and shooting effects are probably the first time since The Matrix that something new shows up in this area, and are real eye-poppers. The story has a Lucasian twist about two-thirds in that will totally take you by surprise if this is the first movie you've ever seen. Writers Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan also apparently didn't think a movie with bloody bullet effects and people being beaten up quite graphically could secure the rating they wanted, so they put the R rating's magic word in everybody's mouth, including Mr. Freeman. The first time he says it kind of rocks, but the second is stupid.
Q: Should both of your readers see it?
A: They might like it, but they should probably wait for the dollar-theater run.
Q: Any fun previews?
A: We saw the first trailers for Righteous Kill, starring Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino and a host of Mr. Movie Person's favorites. It probably won't be as good as Heat, the only other time DeNiro and Pacino shared a screen, but Mr. Movie Person will pony up like the crime drama sucker he is.
We also saw a trailer for Pineapple Express. Mr. Movie Person is reluctant to say this will be the stupidest movie ever, because he hasn't seen every movie ever made. And he doesn't want to judge it without seeing, but he has no intention of wasting two hours of his life finding out. So Mr. Movie Person will stick with thinking it'll be the stupidest movie ever.
Q: Mr. Movie Person, a few days ago you said M. Night Shymalan's new movie, The Happening, was dumb. Could you elaborate?
A: Mr. Movie Person thinks that, in the category of movies about plants that want to kill people, The Happening beats out Little Shop of Horrors (both versions) in believability and writing but lags way behind The Day of the Triffids.
Q: Did you just stick that in because you don't have enough material on The Happening for a full post and you wanted to get your Triffids joke in?
A: Next question.
Q: Are you familiar with Dave Barry's old question-and-answer format schtick of his Mr. Language Person column?
A: No relation.
3 comments:
No, stupidest movie has to be that blasted chihuahua movie coming out from Disney.
And I hope you don't speak of yourself in detached third person in regular conversation.
Ha! Mr. Movie Person does not have regular conversations, he has important ones.
Actually, it's all part of my theft from Dave Barry.
Ha! Stupidest movie EVER is in theaters right now: "The Love Guru." It's working title was "I Need to Make a Completely Unfunny Version of 'Austin Powers.' Seriously. Unfunny, as in, Not Frakkin' Funny.'" Maggie (13) and I clocked in at exactly zero laughs, three pleas to leave the theater (hers) and one near wide-open mouth (mine) at the staggering unfunniness.
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