Shark Mount Optional

As if the Large Hadron Collider wasn't enough of a risk to life and the universe as we know it, scientists in Europe are planning on making a frickin' laser beam so powerful it can pull apart the vacuum of space.

The Extreme Light Infrastructure Ultra-High Field Facility should be completed by the end of the decade. It will focus ten laser beams, each more powerful than any laser in use today, into a central point where they will produce energy-intense conditions that do not even exist at the center of the sun. Each laser pulse will require so much energy that in order to fire them the power will have to be built up in reserve rather than simply flow through an on-off switch.

Though the pulses will last only a trillionth of a second, scientists think they will allow measurement of what are called "ghost particles." Vacuum, it seems, is not exactly nothing, but is made up of pairs of these ghost particles that tend to annihilate each other almost as soon as they come into existence. If the energy of the Extreme Light Infrastructure Ultra-High Field Facility works as theorized, the pairs of particles will be split and they can be observed long enough to detect their electrical charges and learn more about what makes up the universe.

Now I'm torn about what joke to make next because I have three highly nerdish options that appeal to me equally: 1) I can say, "Destroying Alderan and keeping the star systems in line through fear will be a bonus." 2) I can stick with the Dr. Evil theme and say, "Rumors that the scientists will then hold the United Nations for ransom for one...million...dollars are as yet unfounded." 3) Or, since these are ghost particles, I can say, "Scientists were eager to get started on the project, since bustin' makes 'em feel good."

Or I guess I can use all three. Thanks for playing along.