Bring Me A Mouse. Now.

The Maine Coon Cat is the largest breed of domestic cat in existence, with the longest of the breed going 48 inches from nose to tail and the tallest standing 16 inches at the shoulder. Average weight for males is between 13 to 18 pounds, although most of them look much bigger because of the long fur.

Apparently, a laid-back and friendly attitude -- friendly for cats, anyway -- is a breed trait as well. Which makes sense. Most dogs that would want to chase one might find themselves learning how to climb trees themselves.

Maine Coons are also tend more towards "polydactylism," or extra toes -- a trait that can help feet stay on the surface of deep snow, but which leads me to this flight of silliness:

"Ah-ah. I know what you're thinking. Does he have six toes, or only five? To tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. And seeing as how this is a Maine Coon Cat, the largest domestic breed in the world, and would take your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?" Well? Do ya, Fido?"