Someone asked me the other day why I don't go to see as many movies as I used to and why I wind up watching a lot of international stuff or non-theater releases on my iPad.
Well, I just read today that someone's getting paid to reboot the "Halloween" slasher franchise again. Yes. A third iteration of the hulking Michael Myers in his creepy white mask stabbing people. Wait, I'm sorry if that spoiled it for you; I realize there's a possibility that someone might go to a "Halloween" movie and not know it's about the creep in the white mask stabbing people.
And this isn't someone with a GoPro and a YouTube channel -- it's an actual Hollywood studio and actual Hollywood writers and directors. Sure, they were responsible for Pineapple Express, but that was a real live Hollywood release even if it did ace out all of its competition for Stupidest Damn Non-Electoral Thing of 2008.
Co-creator Danny McBride says they are attempting to remove some of the supernatural touches added to Michael Myers in later movies. Their Michael, he says, will not be some demonic being impossible to kill.
Yeah, if only. Look, if having Swill Czar Rob Zombie direct an iteration of your franchise can't kill it, then it really is an unstoppable force. But not supernatural. More like sewage.