All Warm and Fuzzy

That feeling you get when you see your preferred football team’s logo painted for the Super Bowl…on the home field of your longtime hated rival.

Funny Ha-ha

This interesting episode of Existential Comics explains why, even when philosophers fail at being funny, we still laugh at them.

Since EC is intended to be a humor strip there is a joke involved, but the punchline depends on Sigmund Freud being a weirdo rather than him being actually funny.

Product Placement

An instagram used with the handle "freelanceford" has created a site for a studio called "Brand Name Films." The movies show an idea of what certain products would be like if they were turned into different kinds of movies and starred big-name actors.

All of them are pretty funny and some of them are top-level clever. Charlize Theron as the "last surviving member of the Morton empire" who tries to bring salt back to a world whose people have been denied it in Salt in the Wound plays on Theron's action-heroine vibe and the classic Morton Salt girl label. Hugh Jackman in what looks like a gambling caper film Mr. Pringle also seems like some good casting.

And you know, if someone asked me to put five bucks down on the idea that Tom Hanks might one day star in the biopic of Orville Reddenbacher and call it Poppin' I might just go ahead and take that bet.

Activate Nap Mode!

Over at Bored Panda, Liucija Adomalte and Li Nefas collect 40 pictures of cats sleeping in odd places. At least, they seem odd to us, since to cats they all amount to sleeping in the same place: "Wherever I damn well please, primate."

My favorite is #3, in which we see Whiskers taking her ease inside a birdcage while said cage's occupant sits on top with a decided "WTH?" air about him.

More Worlds to Conquer

Because cat pictures have already dominated social media and taken over the internet in this world, a gentleman named Thibault Charroppin has used the miracle of technology to allow them to take over fictional, sports and other entertainment worlds as well. He digitally inserts Lizzy -- who acts under the nom de stage "Owl Kitty," into movies and sports footage. My favorite is when Lawrence Fishburne's Morpheus makes his famous offer of the blue pill of illusion or the red pill of truth, this time to Owl Kitty instead of Keanu Reeves' Neo.

Naturally Owl Kitty eats both of them.

Ha-ha!

Note to the reader and/or viewer: Both of these comedy specials make extensive use of a free-range vocabulary, so those who do not appreciate such language should consider themselves warned.

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Since winning Last Comic Standing in 2008, Iliza Shlesinger has not lacked for work, appearing in several different cable shows, hosting a podcast, writing a book and releasing four comedy specials. Her 2018 entry, one of Netflix's myriad comic releases, is called Elder Millennial and finds herself looking at how things have changed for her as she has matured and gotten engaged. (After the special filmed, she was married in May 2018).

Much of Shlesinger's material comes from considering the ways that women live and work in modern society, dealing with their expectations of themselves and each other as well as the ones society puts on them. Elder Millennial still works that vein heavily, but Shlesinger adds observation on what life is like in her mid-30s and how differently things were for her as a young person than they would be for someone today. Yes, she is a member of the "Millennial Generation," but as an older one she remembers things like landlines and other quaint devices that may mystify modern teens and twenty-somethings.

Elder Millennial ranks with Freezing Hot as her best work: There are some lags and a few soft spots, but both shows are solid stem to stern. Shlesinger relies on a very sharp eye, a lot of smarts and a quirky view of the world that lets her find the funniest angle for things that most people wouldn't necessarily think to make jokes about. But once she's made the joke, the humor in whatever she's observed is obvious, and viewers can see the funny angles for themselves.

Her likeability helps her sell the material, as well as her willingness to make a little fun of herself while she makes fun of everything and everyone else. In an interview Shlesinger says she steers clear of political humor, which can get outdated easily and which can too easily come off as preaching to her audience. She obviously has a point of view, and you don't have to watch very long before you figure out what a lot of her beliefs about society, men, women and the world are, but her expression of that point of view is carried through a desire to build people up rather than knock others down.

And of course, in the end Elder Millennial works because Shlesinger is funny. There's a weird little wave in comedy that for some reason celebrates comedians who come out and tell stories about themselves that aren't funny. So far, Iliza Shelsinger will have none of that, and comedy fans are the better for it.

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Before Joe Rogan had a popular podcast, before he was a commentator for UFC and some other mixed martial arts shows, before he was the host of Fear Factor, before he was on a sitcom, he was a standup comic.

Having not listened to his podcast or watched much MMA, having taken a pass on Fear Factor because, well, neurons, and having not had a TV when he was on Newsradio, I have no idea whether or not Joe Rogan is actually stupid. Given his success, I'm inclined to believe he's not.

But boy oh boy, there's no reason to equivocate about his new Netflix special Strange Times. It's most definitely stupid. I've no idea what Rogan's original comedy career was like before he had the other gigs, but I can't believe he got the level of fame and fortune that he has if this Dice-Lite by way of Pseudo-Kinison is what he had to offer.

One of the special's biggest problems is the way Rogan can't seem to get his delivery and his punchline to hit the right notes at the same time. Strange Times seems to follow the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of comedy: When Rogan has a good punchline, he somehow muffs the delivery; off just enough to sap the material of the laugh it ought to get. And when he nails the delivery, it's with a punchline that doesn't make enough sense to make the trip to get there worth the time.

The handful of times he gets both together it's on a joke that you think you've probably heard before. Not because Rogan stole it -- he famously called out Carlos Mencia for joke theft a few years ago in a very public spat, so joke theft is most definitely not his thing. But because it's the kind of joke your really funny friend said that time at that party somewhere, which a lot of funny friends around the world happened upon and told their groups of friends. In fact, most of Strange Times gives the impression that Rogan is that funny friend, who manages to keep everyone at the party or the office or wherever in stitches by riffing off stuff that people around him said but who's out of his depth when it comes to crafting material out of whole cloth.

Although Rogan himself is probably not dumb -- after all, Netflix paid him for this -- he manages to hit "ignorant" more than once. Early in the show he suggests that Thomas Jefferson, if brought into modern-day America, would be aghast that we had not rewritten the Constitution to keep up with modern times. Yeah, because whatever comes out of Twitter is better than the Bill of Rights. At one point he riffs a little on theology and religion, proving that as a theological thinker he's an excellent water-cooler funny guy.

Squirrel Roberts?

The tagline for this picture in Bored Panda's page of photos from the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards is "Caught in the Act," which I don't quite see. Some of the commenters get closer, with lines like, "Whoa there, everybody just calm down."

My own would be something along the post title, as Mr. Sciuridae here has more than a little of Oral Roberts' "Be healed!" look about him. Either way, it's a funny pic and there are several more at the link.

I'll Be Back

Yes, it's all fun and games until the robot turns around and fixes you with its cold, mechanical gaze:

Time Change

You think you had problems setting all of your clocks ahead an hour? Think about these guys at Stonehenge:

(Found here.)

Ha! And Again, Ha!

Considering how often airline personnel seem to blame computer glitches for the problems faced by paying passengers, it is quite satisfying that such a glitch may leave them without enough pilots for two weeks in December.

Their computerized leave request system is supposed to deny leave if no one is available to take assigned flights during the time involved. But whoopsie, somehow the alarm didn't trigger and now the airline is in scramble mode to find reserve pilots or entice vacationing pilots back by offering them 150% of their usual pay for any flights they return to handle.

No word yet on whether American has contacted United Airlines to see if any of its security personnel are available to "request" the pilots come back to work.

The Cat Is The Hat

At least, that's what it looks like in the picture from Cynthia Bennett of the two animals that accompany her and her boyfriend when they go hiking.

The dog is named Henry and the cat Baloo. No word on when Bagheera may be expected to join the tribe.

Other photos of the adventuresome duo may be found at the link.

Heavy Metal Thunder!

You can find the rest of the finalists for the 2017 Comedy Wildlife Photo awards here. My favorite is the one above from Katy Laveck, in which it is obvious that the simian riding pillion is belting out Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild." What else would you sing on a motorbike?

Although I have to give the penguins headed to church photo some props as well.

Old Jokes

Over at Today I Found Out, a piece outlines the oldest known jokes found in ancient tablets and writings. They demonstrate that humor does not always translate along across cultural boundaries -- Sumerians particularly.

Some of the jokes from ancient Greece draw a chuckle or two, although they seem a little like one of Henny Youngman's old routines. Which, I am certain, would have been gleefully pointed out by Don Rickles, were he still living.

Folks in my profession are known for attempting to include humor in our sermons, not always to good effect. Some of my colleagues simply insert an opening joke into the presentation whether it relates to the subject or not. Others of us will try to wax wry within the bounds of our topic, with better or worse results.

We follow in the footsteps of the first known Christian sermon, preached by the Apostle Peter in Acts 2. He opens by refuting the suggestion that the people infused with the Holy Spirit were in fact infused with more mundane spirits: "These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning!"

He was soon beaten and thrown into prison. Which should be a caution to more public speakers, both religious and secular.

Information!

Not everyone can be a professional astronomer, but thanks to this handy guide from The League of Lost Causes, featured at NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day, you can evaluate lights in the sky just as good as they can:

Nigerian Barrister Required

By an individual known as "Mike," who was arrested by Nigerian police in connection with millions of dollars of internet scams run by a network stretching across several nations in Africa that may have involved as many as 40 people.

The "Nigerian e-mail scam" is its own meme, as fake e-mails seeking money or help in schemes to get money have been around for nearly as long as there has been an internet. One of the more common involves a person mysteriously being named as the beneficiary of some wealthy Nigerian's will. A "barrister," or lawyer, is contacting the hoped-for-victim on behalf of the estate, seeking account details needed to make the substantial deposit. You know it's not a scam, of course, because the person sending the e-mail has the address of their barrister offices and everything right in the message.

I will now make a public offer of my own. "Mike" and his network were believed to have hoovered up some $60 million over the course of their alleged scam, according to authorities. If he sends me two of those millions, I will send him a copy of a book that I have in my sole possession that contains an entire section of nothing but barristers who defend people accused of crimes. Their contact information and addresses are even printed on different-colored pages -- yellow, to be exact -- in order to set them apart from other listings.

But he will need to keep this offer confidential. If it gets out, unscrupulous types might try to take advantage of him in his hour of need.

Paging Mr. J.G. Wentworth...

Casinos are not in business to lose money, but they are always reliable about one thing: If you win, they pay out. To do otherwise would be bad for business, and a big winners are a huge part of the advertising campaign. Smiling people dripping zeroes from oversized checks brings in folks thinking that if those people won, so can I!

A state-run lottery ought to work that way, but maybe not. A couple that recently won the Illinois lottery found themselves receiving a notice with only one "o" in it,  the middle letter of the well-known abbreviation "IOU." The representatives in Illinois' legislature have yet to pass a budget, which means the state comptroller can't write checks, and lottery prizes of more than $25,000 have to come from the state comptroller. Uh-oh.

It's not that the money isn't there. Unlike most government operations, lotteries generate their own revenue and don't pay out more than they take in. So in other words, the money is there because all of the people who bought their lottery tickets didn't do so with IOUs. State lotteries are kind of persnickety about that. So, for that matter, are just about any local, state or federal operation when they're owed money. Try sending the IRS and IOU and see just how fast the amount O'ed gets really big.

But the Illinois comptroller is prohibited by law from writing checks when there is no state budget. And because no one ever thought about this possibility, the laws establishing the lottery didn't allow for an alternative way to release the funds.You're actually better off winning a smaller prize in the Illinois Lottery these days, because if it's under $25,000, the comptroller can still write you a check. Kind of like petty cash, I guess, although I leave to you, O Frugal Reader, what kind of an operation considers $25,000 petty cash.

There is a kind of wonderful irony in this for those who, like myself, think that there are very few things government bureaucracies do well these days. One of those things, we have probably said at one time or another, is giving away money. And now it turns out that the state of Illinois isn't even good at that.

Target Acquired...

I was going to make fun of Donald Trump's announcement that he was running for president, but P.J. O'Rourke has already said all the funny things and mocked the man who lacks even the tiniest bit of self-awareness that would defuse the massive messy explosion this is going to be.

The Best Revenge

This post at Doghouse Diaries suggests some minor but extremely annoying things one might wish did happen to their enemies, as a way of obtaining revenge. They're along the lines of some ideas I remember reading in a book called Throw a Tomato, which described more than 150 ways of being "mean and nasty." The one that sticks out in my mind is the suggestion to "salt the Band-Aids."

But the Diaries post goes too far in once instance. Nobody should have their inner voice be that of Gilbert Gottfried. Not even Harry Reid, but in his case it's because Gottfried would be a step up from the dingy gray smear that usually rings in his empty, dingy gray skull.

Her Majesty's Photobomb

A couple of field hockey players placed themselves strategically for a selfie at a recent match, and managed to catch Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in the frame in exactly the right attitude to include her.

Although the Queen herself probably doesn't take selfies (I wonder how the royal "we" would affect the etymology of that word), I suspect some of her grandchildren have informed her what one is. The two players in the picture said that Elizabeth chatted with them briefly about how their tournament was going and bade them to enjoy their time.

Going Home!

Since they already are home, that will be a toughie. Finland's hockey team eliminated the host Russian team from medal contention today with a 3-1 win and a famous spectator in the arena.

I do feel kind of bad for the Russian hockey players, who only wanted to win big in front of a home crowd and who aren't a part of their national leadership's recent "Back to the U.S.S.R." initiative in terms of bullying neighbor nations and internal dissidents.

But that picture of ol' sad Vlad kind of makes up for it.