Guv'mint Gotta Guv'mint

Sometimes people ask me why I don't want the government to help people, with the insinuation being that I don't want people to get help. That's not it at all.

It's just that it's almost impossible for governments to get it right when they try. Back during the beginning of the pandemic, when we were worried about shortages of ethanol-based hand sanitizer, several distilleries switched some of their production lines to making it. After all, they know how to work with ethanol.

But because of new regulations from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, the distilleries that made the santizer became "monograph drug facilities" that made an over-the-counter medical product. To do that, the FDA requires a license, and to receive a license, the FDA would like distilleries to do a little favor for them: Write them checks.

The craft distilleries that switched their production lines managed to use their facilities to help reduce potential shortages and keep their workers employed when other government regulations forced them to shut down much of their more lucrative business activities like tasting rooms.

We often focus on elected officials as the source of many of our problems, and when we hear a self-serving primadonna like Missouri's Josh Hawley talk about how he will not vote to certify the results of Electoral College balloting when Congress is sworn in January 6 it's hard to believe they are not the biggest factor in government dysfunction. Term limits are suggested as the curative for this particular ill and maybe they would do some good. It would be nice to have something that automatically prevents Hawaii voters from making Mazie Hirono the nation's problem instead of just theirs.

But something like the FDA assessing distilleries facing economic hardship with licensing costs to allow them to be able to pitch in and help doesn't come from elected officials. It comes from un-elected government workers who have no term limits. No legislator proposed the fees. No Representative argued for them. No Senator approved them. And as idiotic as the elected personnel we hire to run our government may be, they frequently find themselves without a candle to hold when compared to the un-elected personnel somebody else hired.

Sometimes in football games a runner out of the backfield will lose yardage because he runs into his own offensive line. The linemen are trying to help but wound up destroying the play they were meant to make happen. Poor people have enough problems without playing the running back in that scenario to the federal government's offensive line.

Something's Missing

This video shows the amazing work of the Boston Dynamics people in programming their robots to dance -- pretty darn well, in fact -- to the Contours' "Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)?"

Of course, the robots have no idea what it means to take the floor to that song with a cute girl and sing along with the chorus and mean it and then get to follow it up with a slow song, so I think human beings are still way in the lead.

So It Begins

On this day 20 years ago, an unknown Midwestern town began its days of terror as the first Snow Goon lurched to life. 

The Queen's Speech

Her Majesty is not, of course, my head of state nor am I her subject; our forebears settled that question more than 240 years ago. But I still appreciate her public addresses to her nation, of which she has made an uncharacteristic three so far this year. The third comes as a Christmas message.

I don't know whether it's the accent, the no-nonsense demeanor, her slight resemblance to my grandmother, the fact that she witnessed so many of the 20th century's major events firsthand or some other quality, but I greatly enjoy hearing the monarch speak. Certainly much more than I have enjoyed hearing just about any U.S. head of state speak over the last quarter-century. In my lifetime, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton have been the two presidents whose best speeches came as much from their own abilities as from the texts prepared for them.

George W. Bush's best moments were his off-the-cuff remarks and gestures, like in the rubble of the flattened World Trade Center towers or in throwing out the first pitch of the world series. Lyndon Johnson's best work was behind the scenes, not behind a podium. Barack Obama had one good speech in 2004 and he's been giving it ever since. And no one would suggest that Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter or the elder George Bush could have done as well as the Queen in delivering this address to her people in a very challenging Christmas season.

How will President Biden's Christmas oratory compare with the Queen's? Well, we'll have a good chance to compare next year at Christmas when he delivers this speech.

Achtung!

Physicist Sabine Hossenfelder is a German professor who produces videos explaining scientific concepts. Although Dr. Hossenfelder is a native German the videos are in English, as is her blog.

As we all know from movies, a German accent is indispensable for a scientist in order to sound smart (unless the scientist is a Nazi, in which case it is essential for sounding evil as well as smart). So in her most recent entry linked above, Dr. Hossenfelder offers lessons on how to speak like Albert Einstein in order that the average person may sound properly intelligent when discussing some topic of physics.

Civilization Advances

Again some unsung genius harnesses the wonders of modern science for the betterment of humanity.

Would You Like to Try Again?

This article is a couple of years old but still worth scratching your head over. Slate magazine assembled a panel of voters who ranged from writers to musicians to nominate the songs they thought would be added to the so-called Great American Songbook in the coming years.

The "Songbook" concept is pretty malleable -- it's not an actual book but instead a more or less widely accepted canon of jazz and pop music standards frequently covered and reinterpreted by vocalists. So it could pretty easily accumulate new songs even though there's no set criteria for inclusion. Some general characteristics include relatively more complex lyrics and a kind of flexible character that can be adapted by a wide range of singers and stir a wide range of emotions.

So the Slate panel nominated its own candidates and the article at the link gives the top 30. It's a pretty dumb article and not only because of some of the songs -- which we'll get to in a minute. Whoever wrote the intro rightly pointed out that the Songbook acquires new tunes according to no set formula. But then the writer whiffed by calling Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" "a commercial disappointment from a critically derided band." Journey may have been critically derided during its late 70s and early 80s heyday but "Believin'" hit #9 in the Billboard Hot 100 and sold a million copies. The article hadn't been published for very long before someone -- probably someone old enough to listen to the radio in 1981 -- engineered a correction that suggested "Believin'" was a commercial disappointment compared to the other singles from the album. But considering that "Stone in Love" didn't chart and "Still they Ride" barely cracked the top 20, some more correction is in order.

In any event, when we get to the songs themselves we have to first confront the question, "Wha," as in, "What were you people thinking?"

Included on the list are several rap and hip-hop tunes -- I'm a big fan of some old-school rap, in which clever rhymes and even cleverer wordplay elevate a rapper and his or her tune above the wannabes and competitors. But the panelists, exploring mostly music from the last 25 years or so, include songs with a blizzard of unrhymed free-form sexual boasting and FCC non-compliant verbiage unlikely to be covered on any wide basis.

A few suggestions make sense, like Idina Menzel's Frozen soundtrack smash "Let It Go," but for every one that does is another that makes none. Like Liz Phair's "**** and Run," in which the singer laments awakening next to yet another in a long string of one-night stands instead of being in a relationship. I'm no professional music critic or writer who can make Slate's list, but I think one pretty strong indicator a song won't make the Great American Songbook is that you can't sing it in front of Grandma.

It's hard to say what exactly the panelists thought made their suggestions a good fit for the Songbook concept and maybe that's the problem, that they didn't really know themselves. Either way the idea that someone is going to karaoke or re-record a version of Eminem's "Lose Yourself" in, say, 2065, means these suggestions may be filed and forgotten.