Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I'm Afraid I Can't Do That, Dave...
The combination of news of this little incident with this one about Japanese development of robots that walk around on their own makes me re-think that time my automatic garage door opener was a little slow in letting me in from the rain...
Let's Think This Through...
It takes a lot of work -- and by lot, I mean at least the sum total of all energy produced by all human beings since we started using tools -- to make Tom Coburn sound like the smartest senator from Oklahoma.
Fortunately, his fellow senator Jim Inhofe is not afraid of hard work. Earlier this week, Oklahoma's senior senator said that the tinfoil hat brigade that questions whether or not President Barack Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen "has a point." He allowed as how he hasn't worked on this issue himself (small favors, thanks, etc.), but he would not discourage their efforts. Sen. Inhofe later clarified his comment and said that the groups who keep bringing this up have a point in that if the president is not a natural-born citizen, then he is not qualified to be president according to Article II of the U.S. Constitution. The White House, he said, has not done a very good job of "dispelling the concerns" of those people raising the issue.
The White House has also not paid great attention to our citizens who believe the moon landing was faked. Nor have they put much effort into allaying the fears of those who believe the Earth is flat, even though if they're right, almost all the laws of physics and 95 percent of modern cosmology go out the window (and over the edge of the world, if you throw them hard enough).
My beliefs regarding President Obama's inadequate qualifications for his office have to do with his inexperience, bad policy ideas and ever-more-apparent ineffectiveness as a leader. A copy of a live birth record was made available online during the campaign and that settles it as much as it needs to for me. Similar issues were raised regarding Sen. John McCain during the campaign, as his birth in the Panama Canal Zone may have meant he was technically ineligible to be president. That point was raised by a professor at the University of Arizona, which McCain represents, so I imagine the law school in Wildcat Land is going to have some trouble getting grants approved for awhile.
In the end, it wouldn't matter if Pres. Obama asked each of these folks (sending the invite via the secret transmitters the government had their dentists embed in their fillings) into his office, displayed the actual copy of his birth certificate and held a seance to communicate with the spirits of his mother and father so they could say, "Yes, he was born in Hawaii. Now shut up and go bother the Air Force about Roswell."
These folks, like the people who believe the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were somehow staged by our own government, or that Sarah Palin's son Trigg is actually her grandson and she covered up the pregnancy of one of her daughters, can't be satisfied. They're delusional. Accurate information corrects my inaccurate ideas, or at least it should. But my delusions say accuracy is futile and it will be assimilated, until what's supposed to prove me wrong becomes another layer in the conspiracy and charade that proves me right.
And as the post title says, let's think this through. If these people are right for the once-in-a-lifetime occurrence the stopped-clock lottery says everybody gets, then Pres. Obama has to step down. According to Article II and the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, the person who would take over as President is the Vice-President, and that person currently is Joe Biden.
"President Biden." That ought to scare anybody, so I think it's time we sent some of those black helicopters in after the birth certificate conspiracy people before this goes any further.
Fortunately, his fellow senator Jim Inhofe is not afraid of hard work. Earlier this week, Oklahoma's senior senator said that the tinfoil hat brigade that questions whether or not President Barack Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen "has a point." He allowed as how he hasn't worked on this issue himself (small favors, thanks, etc.), but he would not discourage their efforts. Sen. Inhofe later clarified his comment and said that the groups who keep bringing this up have a point in that if the president is not a natural-born citizen, then he is not qualified to be president according to Article II of the U.S. Constitution. The White House, he said, has not done a very good job of "dispelling the concerns" of those people raising the issue.
The White House has also not paid great attention to our citizens who believe the moon landing was faked. Nor have they put much effort into allaying the fears of those who believe the Earth is flat, even though if they're right, almost all the laws of physics and 95 percent of modern cosmology go out the window (and over the edge of the world, if you throw them hard enough).
My beliefs regarding President Obama's inadequate qualifications for his office have to do with his inexperience, bad policy ideas and ever-more-apparent ineffectiveness as a leader. A copy of a live birth record was made available online during the campaign and that settles it as much as it needs to for me. Similar issues were raised regarding Sen. John McCain during the campaign, as his birth in the Panama Canal Zone may have meant he was technically ineligible to be president. That point was raised by a professor at the University of Arizona, which McCain represents, so I imagine the law school in Wildcat Land is going to have some trouble getting grants approved for awhile.
In the end, it wouldn't matter if Pres. Obama asked each of these folks (sending the invite via the secret transmitters the government had their dentists embed in their fillings) into his office, displayed the actual copy of his birth certificate and held a seance to communicate with the spirits of his mother and father so they could say, "Yes, he was born in Hawaii. Now shut up and go bother the Air Force about Roswell."
These folks, like the people who believe the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were somehow staged by our own government, or that Sarah Palin's son Trigg is actually her grandson and she covered up the pregnancy of one of her daughters, can't be satisfied. They're delusional. Accurate information corrects my inaccurate ideas, or at least it should. But my delusions say accuracy is futile and it will be assimilated, until what's supposed to prove me wrong becomes another layer in the conspiracy and charade that proves me right.
And as the post title says, let's think this through. If these people are right for the once-in-a-lifetime occurrence the stopped-clock lottery says everybody gets, then Pres. Obama has to step down. According to Article II and the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, the person who would take over as President is the Vice-President, and that person currently is Joe Biden.
"President Biden." That ought to scare anybody, so I think it's time we sent some of those black helicopters in after the birth certificate conspiracy people before this goes any further.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
You Keep Using That Word...
...but I do not think it means what you think it means.
A lady describes her experience with an AT&T representative in resolving insufficient communication about signing up for a discount. She points out how she was polite and was dealt with fairly.
The website operator is impressed with her attitude and her results, but asks the question that I think would be first in my mind: AT&T charges you a fee to activate a discount? They make you pay to save money?
I thought only the government did that.
(H/T Fark.)
A lady describes her experience with an AT&T representative in resolving insufficient communication about signing up for a discount. She points out how she was polite and was dealt with fairly.
The website operator is impressed with her attitude and her results, but asks the question that I think would be first in my mind: AT&T charges you a fee to activate a discount? They make you pay to save money?
I thought only the government did that.
(H/T Fark.)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Uh-Oh!
I bet even Earl Scheib would charge more than $29.95 for the touch-up job after this little ding.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Knowledge!
Among the many things seminary never taught me was that ministry would one day involve using the phrase "Do not pick up the armadillos!"
Sunday, July 19, 2009
RIP, Walter Cronkite
Return with me now to the hallowed days of yesteryear, when significant portions of Americans would gather 'round the television in the evening and imbibe the news of the day.
No celebrity marriages, divorces or other interactions that would embarrass a zoo animal. No cutesy "news you can use" segments or "information that will help you protect your family." No bang-zap-pow graphics. No buzzy show titles like "The Situation Room" or "The Factor." Just what went on, when it went on, where it went on, and whether or not it might keep going on tomorrow.
One of the faces and voices of this kind of communication was Walter Cronkite, the anchor at the CBS Evening News. Cronkite's words in 1963 told America its president was dead. In 1969, his words and his moments of wordlessness communicated what many people felt as they watched Neil Armstrong step off his lunar lander onto the moon (Cronkite slept a total of three hours during the 40 hours between Apollo 11's insertion into lunar orbit and its departure; he spent the rest of the time on air or following reports).
One can argue about whether or not the identification of news with a single voice was a good thing. When a huge percentage of the information people get comes from just a few sources, and when reliability and accuracy are only among the criteria whereby those sources are judged instead of the primary criteria, then the possibilities of abuse breed like roaches.
News today comes in the same fashion -- we're told that this or that anchor, personality or reporter is accurate and can be trusted and believed, and that's why they're on the job. The connection between accuracy, trust and believability on the one hand and perfect hair, capped teeth and high Q ratings on the other is never explained, but it must be there, because everyone who I'm told has the former also seems to have the latter. But even though they all try to follow Uncle Walter's footsteps, none seem to attain his stature -- think of the Declaration of Independence. All those men signed it, saying and risking the same things. But John Hancock's the name that earned its own idiom.
Cronkite's reign at CBS Evening News helped create the current climate although he himself left, retiring in 1981, before some of its silliest iterations began to crop up. But whatever he begat by way of broadcast news aside, Cronkite saw himself as a reporter, first and foremost. A typewriter sat next to him at his anchor desk, available (and often used) to bang out a few lines of copy at the last second if new information came in on a story or if something completely new started breaking. Can you imagine any of the blow-dried newsMuppets manning local TV anchor desks being able to do that? On the national scene, if I close one eye and squint I could see NBC's Brian Williams in that mode, but former morning show personalities Charles Gibson of ABC or Katie Couric of CBS? The immaculately made-up Shepherd Smith of Fox? Shakespeare's works will spring from the keyboards of all those monkeys first.
I don't know if that's the way it is, but I'll settle for saying that's how I see it. Happy trails, Mr. Cronkite.
No celebrity marriages, divorces or other interactions that would embarrass a zoo animal. No cutesy "news you can use" segments or "information that will help you protect your family." No bang-zap-pow graphics. No buzzy show titles like "The Situation Room" or "The Factor." Just what went on, when it went on, where it went on, and whether or not it might keep going on tomorrow.
One of the faces and voices of this kind of communication was Walter Cronkite, the anchor at the CBS Evening News. Cronkite's words in 1963 told America its president was dead. In 1969, his words and his moments of wordlessness communicated what many people felt as they watched Neil Armstrong step off his lunar lander onto the moon (Cronkite slept a total of three hours during the 40 hours between Apollo 11's insertion into lunar orbit and its departure; he spent the rest of the time on air or following reports).
One can argue about whether or not the identification of news with a single voice was a good thing. When a huge percentage of the information people get comes from just a few sources, and when reliability and accuracy are only among the criteria whereby those sources are judged instead of the primary criteria, then the possibilities of abuse breed like roaches.
News today comes in the same fashion -- we're told that this or that anchor, personality or reporter is accurate and can be trusted and believed, and that's why they're on the job. The connection between accuracy, trust and believability on the one hand and perfect hair, capped teeth and high Q ratings on the other is never explained, but it must be there, because everyone who I'm told has the former also seems to have the latter. But even though they all try to follow Uncle Walter's footsteps, none seem to attain his stature -- think of the Declaration of Independence. All those men signed it, saying and risking the same things. But John Hancock's the name that earned its own idiom.
Cronkite's reign at CBS Evening News helped create the current climate although he himself left, retiring in 1981, before some of its silliest iterations began to crop up. But whatever he begat by way of broadcast news aside, Cronkite saw himself as a reporter, first and foremost. A typewriter sat next to him at his anchor desk, available (and often used) to bang out a few lines of copy at the last second if new information came in on a story or if something completely new started breaking. Can you imagine any of the blow-dried newsMuppets manning local TV anchor desks being able to do that? On the national scene, if I close one eye and squint I could see NBC's Brian Williams in that mode, but former morning show personalities Charles Gibson of ABC or Katie Couric of CBS? The immaculately made-up Shepherd Smith of Fox? Shakespeare's works will spring from the keyboards of all those monkeys first.
I don't know if that's the way it is, but I'll settle for saying that's how I see it. Happy trails, Mr. Cronkite.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Verification Overload
OK, everybody who thought I was certifiable because I tried to Shakespearacize Colt Seavers is invited to check out this discussion, in which the plausibility of Jon Bon Jovi's claims about rocking a million faces is examined.
I will note that as of this writing, in spite of the detailed analysis about the number of faces seen vs. number of faces rocked, there is no settled understanding about what actually constitutes rocking a face.
(H/T Galley Slaves)
I will note that as of this writing, in spite of the detailed analysis about the number of faces seen vs. number of faces rocked, there is no settled understanding about what actually constitutes rocking a face.
(H/T Galley Slaves)
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