To: The gentlemen in the locker room at my gym who participate in the senior adults' swim fitness classes.
WHEREAS, this morning eight or nine of you were gathered in the locker room of the gym following my workout, and
WHEREAS, you were lighting all of the candles on a large cookie displaying a happy birthday message to one of your number, and
WHEREAS, you had all recently exited the pool, and were standing around in all of your senior-citizens-in-wet-board-shorts glory, and
WHEREAS, one of you was heard to say, "Light those candles faster, it's freezing in here," and
WHEREAS, another of you was heard to say, "I'm glad he's so old, we need all the candles we can get," and
WHEREAS, yet another of you was heard to say, "Good thing we're taking this close to a large source of water, that's fire safety."
BE IT RESOLVED, on this twenty-second day of February in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, that I offer you my profound thanks for making my week and for giving me a bigger laugh than any Monday deserves.
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