Things I Learned During the High School Basketball Season

Both local teams are still playing, but most of the season is over, so here's what it taught me:

1) Grown-ups who applaud when a 16-year-old kid fouls out don't really merit the name "grown-up."

2) When we're about to watch two teams of young women display their athletic abilities, demonstrate their character and put hundreds if not thousands of hours of dedication and practice to work, perhaps we could leave off the pregame playlist songs which rap about how all the b*****s can't get enough of the illiterate thug on the microphone.

3) The intersection of the set of women my age and somewhat older with the set of women who dress like women way more than somewhat younger is not nearly as small as one might wish.

4) Nor is the intersection of the set of grown men who wear suit jackets or sport coats and dress shirts with the set of men who tuck in those shirts.

5) The cuteness of the little kid seated near you varies inversely with how often he kicks your seat or is allowed to run up and down the row in front of you so his parents have to go catch him.

6) Moving picks and screens are apparently legal in Oklahoma high school basketball.

7) Not a lot of the people who claim their purchase of a ticket enables them to say whatever they want use that privilege to say anything worthwhile.

8) Coaches who scream at their players -- not merely raising their voice to be heard in a noisy gym but actually using their volume to emphasize how stupid or incompetent the player has just been -- should be fired on the spot and not given a ride home on the bus. If screaming at someone is an acceptable motivational tool, then teachers should be allowed to use it in the classroom, bosses should be encouraged to use it in the workplace, parenting books should include chapters on it and pastors should be allowed to do it in sermons...hmm.