Now We Can Have Lent

I was wondering if it was really Lent, because there hadn't yet been some obscure archaeological find wrapped up in a marketing blitz that would shake the very foundations of the faith. Or some "I hate religion so I'll keep on writing about it" rant thinly disguised as a novel, either by some hack writer looking for publicity or by a talented writer unable to be comfortable with his atheism as long as other people are comfortable with their theism.

James Frey to the rescue! Frey is perhaps best known for writing a memoir that turned out to be fiction and made Oprah very very cross with him for making her and anyone else who believed him look foolish. Of course, since Oprah has her own TV show, she could get her public revenge; everyone else had to settle for a refund of the cover price (although not many asked for it). Frey's current major project is running a publishing house called Full Fathom Five, which is supposed to capitalize on the Harry Potter/Twilight success and create young adult novels written by Frey and co-authors. The arrangements apparently favor Frey far more than the co-authors.

In the meantime, he prepared the above-mentioned Final Testament of the Holy Bible ("Harumph" - Joseph Smith), in which the Messiah is a drunk fellow who wanders around New York City, smokes pot, kisses men and impregnates a prostitute. He realizes his Messiah-dom after a horrific job accident and some strange events. Mr. Frey is certain traditional-minded religious people "will go crazy" about his book -- not in the good, go-crazy-for-buying-it way, it seems, as its initial print run is only 11,000 copies -- but in the gasp-and-swoon-caught-the-vapors-at-this-threat-to-our-faith way. Indeed, as I understand it, Pope Benedict XVI took to his bed the day the USA Today article was published and has not been seen since.

I approach the news of Frey's novel with mild boredom. I can't work up serious boredom because there's nothing new in what he's doing. Ordinary fellow realizes Messiah-hood after on-the-job-accident, placed on a path of confrontation with established religious authorities? See Charles Sailor's so-so thriller The Second Son. Messiah as a hippie-ish dude who's only interested in everyone loving each other and not all that bring-down stuff about righteousness? See Christopher Moore's over-long Lamb. Messiah who had sexual relationships with men? Theodore W. Jennings, Jr.'s silliness, The Man Jesus Loved. And so on and so on, even without the these-trees-died-for-nothing additions of Philip Pullman and Dan Brown to the stack.

Mr. Frey has planned his book's release for April 22. Doubt I'll stop by the store looking for it; I've got better things to occupy my time that day.