I've Got a Bad Feeling About This...

Coming soon to a theater near you: Wicked Wicket: A Star Wars Story. In which the brave and formidable Ewok warrior turns to the Dark Side when an evil Sith Lord promises him working eyelids, an actual digestive tract and...other benefits.

Int. night. A ROOM carved into one of the gigantic trees on the Forest Moon of ENDOR. A torch flickers in one wall, and the DOOR opens. LEIA is seated on a bench in the room, and sighs when WICKET the EWOK enters.

Leia: Wicket? You're back! But I told you, it can never work between us; I'm a human and you're an Ewok. We're not...compatible.

WICKET steps closer and winks at LEIA.

Leia: My goodness! Your face can move? There's something different about you, isn't there? Something's...changed you!"

An actual smile appears on WICKET's face, and one eyebrow rises suggestively.  He moves closer to LEIA. Cut to LEIA's face as she glances downwards and gasps.

Wicket (languidly): Nub nub.

LEIA shakes her head no, and smiles seductively.

Leia: Doesn't look like it to me. They embrace.

Cut to a closeup of LUKE SKYWALKER, frowning.

Luke: I sense a disturbance in the Force...

Sounds very stupid, but since someone out there is floating the idea of Boba Fett and Yoda movies -- and apparently chatter on fan boards suggests a Jabba the Hutt movie -- I figured I'd get my oar in the water early.

There are currently eight Star Wars movies out now, with two more coming in the next nine months. Exactly half of those are worth watching a second time, and of those four only one -- Rogue One -- is outside of the original trilogy. I'd love to be proven wrong, but I can't imagine that either The Last Jedi, due out in December, or next May's standalone Han Solo movie are going to be added to that list.

The only person I can imagine who really really wants a Boba Fett solo movie is George Lucas, because it would get him off the hook for Stupidest Thing in Star Wars History, the creation of Jar Jar Binks. And if that don't scare you, meesa got no hope for you.