Doubled Villainy!

I have frequently referred to the valiant men of Northwestern University as champions in the fight for all-American things like apple pie, hot dogs and helping little old ladies across the street. Little did I know that this season would afford them the chance to oppose a dual representation of the forces that oppose such sterling representations of our national character.

Come January 1, the paragons of good citizenship will travel to Dallas for the first ever TicketCity Bowl, played in the legendary Cotton Bowl stadium. The actual Cotton Bowl will of course be played in Cowboys Stadium in Arlington six days later.

The Wildcats will face off against a group so devoted to Communism that they actually use the word "Red" in their team name. Moreover, these are not garden-variety godless Commies who seek to take over the free world and subject it to North Korean architecture, Chinese air quality and Cuban barbers. The other half of their team name is "Raiders," meaning they represent the doubled-down evil of Commie pirates!

Commie pirates! How any law-abiding American could root against the Heroes in Purple come this New Year's Day is beyond me.

(You are reading this blog's 800th post, and the author would like to caution against judging the entire blog based on how silly this particular post is. The entire blog is often much sillier).