Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I've Got a So-So Feeling About This...

So, Disney bought Lucasfilm. There are some downsides:

1. Truth-in-advertising requires removal of the word "creative" from Lucas's new job title.

2. "Hey, Luke Skywalker! You just blew apart the Death Star with a shot that was 'one in a million.' What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

3. Not looking forward to the Han Solo/Lando Calrissian version of "You've Got a Friend in Me."

4. Also not looking forward to Jar-Jar Binks' updated "You Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me," now voiced by Robin Williams.

5. Not sure about the new "C-3Pinocchio" character with his guide Jiminy D2.

6. "Grumpy leads to hate, and hate leads to the Dark Side. A much better dwarf shall I make than him."

7. "Chewie! What's with this number 53 painted on the Falcon? And why are you calling it 'Herbie?''"

On the upside, Disney can digitally insert one of its theme park animatronic statues in place of Hayden Christiansen in the prequels and upgrade those movie's acting levels. And we could get treated to a rollicking "Everybody Wants to Be a Hutt" from Jabba. Plus, the new translation of the Lion King phrase hakuna matata can now be, "Han shot first!"

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